Google+

Unhappiness is exhausting

So often couples end up in crisis as they have exhausted themselves going over and over the same issues, again and again, using the same behaviours that got them to their crisis in the first place.

Most don’t understand the deeper causes of their problems.

So without any extra knowledge, they continue to use the same behaviours and methods of communication.

They have each tired themselves out hunting for answers and only get more frustrated with each other.

Now from this place they look for the reasons they’re exhausted and decide the relationship is the cause and cannot be fixed.

Unhappiness is exhausting

Being unhappy and continually arguing, being misunderstood and not appreciated in the way you need is incredibly tiring and stressful. From this place, you are unlikely to understand or discover the real causes of your problems. You only have the energy to retreat.

To keep yourself as safe as you can each of you will probably now go into a place of self-protection.  Women can go quiet and just ‘keep their heads down’, men can also withdraw.  Now communication is minimal and often only covers day-to-day issues.

Blame can now become your solution:

  • If only she sorted out her issues.
  • Why is she so cross all the time
  • If she only showed me more affection things would be great
  • If he understood me and loved me he wouldn’t behave like this
  • If he helped more I would feel better

These views are still not getting to the root of your problems

Increase your knowledge

With my help couples learn about the real causes of their issues. We don’t go over the symptoms – the arguments or the defensive behaviours.  I teach new understandings, new methods of behaviour and I give each of you new strategies.

By learning and understanding how you each function and what you each need from your relationship you will then know how to move into a closer, deeper understanding of each other.

You will learn how to deal with the causes rather than the symptoms.  This will enable you to help yourselves keep your relationship on track and create a closer and deeper connection.

And that’s what we all want. A close, loving connection.