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Are you being understood?

badcommunicationDoes the person you’re talking to really understand what you’re saying?

The chances are they don’t! Not exactly the way you meant it or felt.   Why?  Because their map of the world is different to yours.  So their interpretation of what you said (or that email you sent) could be completely different to the thoughts and sentiments you had when you said it!

Add into the mix that men and women communicate differently and now everything gets doubly complicated!  Even the best, most motivational people in the world, will interpret from their own perspective – which in some cases can be miles away from what you wished to convey!

It’s so easy to jump to conclusions about what someone has said without finding out what they actually meant! To assume, based on some prior knowledge of a similar circumstance, that you’ve got to the truth in one leap!

So now there’s a mass of misunderstanding.  You’re confused and maybe  irritated or hurt.  If you’re not careful you could also start blaming yourself for your lack of communication skills.

Slow down!  You’re not at fault here.  Nor are they by the way!  It’s just neither of you has learnt how to ‘get through’ to the other in a way that each of you understands!

This is vital to learn.  Otherwise all that happens is you each goes on repeating what you’ve just said in the vague hope that if you say it often enough they’ll ‘get it’!

Well they might. But it’s much more likely they won’t.  This is where resentment can start to build.  Slowly and without knowing why each of you can end up feeling more and more lost and misunderstood.

Now there’s no growth.  Love starts to die.  The relationship starts to die.

Find out now how to communicate with each other and know that your partner doesn’t want to hurt you but just wants to be understood.

This is the start.