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The power of your state

In today’s post, I want you to think about the emotional state you are in most of the time, within your relationship.

So what do I mean by this?

How you are with your partner will have a massive impact on how they behave with you and also on how you react to them.

Negative State v Positive State

We all have moments of feeling negative.  But watch out – the power of negativity on your mind and body is immense.  You can change what used to be amusing behaviours into irritation.  Those little quirks your partner has which in the past made you smile can now drive you mad.  Why? Not because they have changed but because you have changed your responses to them.

If you choose to remain in a negative state then your mind will oblige you and will help you become laser-focused on negativity.  It will find all the things that now irritate you and you will start to stack.  Stack the irritations and, over time, turn them into resentments.

You have the power to change.  No one else does.  It’s down to you.

Your state is the key

A Positive State is one where you search for the good.  One where you also search for new meanings to their responses and behaviours.

You can’t decide what they’re thinking – you’re not in their head

You cannot judge.  The only person who can judge you is you.  The only person who can judge your partner is your partner.  No one else has lived your life, and no one else has lived theirs.

So when you find yourself in a negative state ask yourself why.  Also, query what gains you get from remaining in this negative state. What do you ‘win’ by being there.

For instance:

  • do you get more sympathy
  • are you noticed more
  • does your partner listen more to you

Then ask yourself are these ‘good’ wins.

What would happen if you chose to change your state to a positive one?  What would be the gains then?

Would you:

  • Laugh or smile more
  • be more open to ideas
  • have more fun
  • be able to give and receive more genuine love
  • find more solutions

I repeat “Your state is Key”

Learn how to change state

Learning to change state is a skill which needs to be learnt and practised.  Once mastered the world opens up to so many new possibilities.  Not only within your relationship but in all aspects of your life.