Are you being the best you can be?

When a person finds themselves in a relationship or situation that is going wrong it is so easy to turn into someone who they don't like.  They can become someone who starts to distort their life and live it contrary and against the values and beliefs that they hold true and dear.  The question is Why? The answer is to avoid pain.  However if this distortion really takes hold pain is what they will get. As an example: If someone believes in total honesty and truth and then starts to be … [Read more...]

What do you value in your life?

Today I want you to think about what you value in life.  By value I want you to think about emotional needs. You see there's a massive difference between a person who, say,  values Security as their number one value and a person who values Adventure as their number one value. For example, a person - whose number one value is Security - sits down in a conference hall with several hundred other people next to someone whose number one value is Adventure.  Which one will know where every exit … [Read more...]

What do you really want more of?

When relationships go wrong it can often be due to both partners failing to give what they want to receive.  I see this frequently with warring couples who have hurt each other so much in the past they have created and are living by some very destructive habits. Then they come to coaching.  Initially one partner can treat the other's attempts to give with massive contempt. Why did he/she wait this long to start behaving differently? How come they are wanting to change now? Why did it take … [Read more...]

He wasn’t living true to his values

At the start of his sessions he didn't even know what his values were.  He told me he valued his money, his family, his home.   He didn't mention security or intimacy or adventure, or fun.....  or love. In fact he hadn't even considered those to be values. The values he listed really were really his means values whereas the ones he had to all intents and purposes 'blocked' were the end values.  Those values which triggered the emotional state he desired.  Those deep feelings he was … [Read more...]

What makes you extraordinary?

We all have gifts, abilities and strengths -  there will be some thing you are brilliant at which leaves those around you in awe - but to you comes as 2nd nature! It's easy to see it in others isn't it!  The brilliant business man, the wonderful singer, the amazing actor.....   and it's also very easy to wish to be like them!   But the only difference between them and you is they found their passion and skill and threw themselves into it. But believe it or not they won't be good at … [Read more...]