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Trust yourself to set your rules

So many individuals in a relationship crisis believe they've done all the giving and their partner has only taken.  They tell me they've tried everything and now they're fed up with being taken for granted.  They feel unappreciated, unloved and misunderstood.  The trust has gone and now the relationship is dying - fast. Frequently the crisis manifests itself by a small, seemingly inconsequential, incident which suddenly fires them into a flight or fight response.  Their partner becomes angry … [Read more...]

Trust

Today I want to talk about trust.  The word which comes up time and time again in my couples' sessions. Trust has so many meanings in a relationship.  Do I trust my partner to be honest and faithful?  Do I trust them to be there for me come what may?  And when the relationship is in crisis time and time again one or both will talk about a lack of trust. Today I want to ask you - "Do you trust how you're feeling right now?" If a person feels bad and is in a relationship, very often they … [Read more...]

Is fear destroying your relationship?

Fear can turn a normally loving person into someone totally different.  They can start behaving in ways they've never behaved before and not how they would normally act. Gone is the loving, kind and gentle person you knew and now you're faced with someone you don't recognise. If your relationship is having problems then one or both of you is probably scared. Being scared is also being in fear Fear of so many things - especially the future.  To protect yourself emotionally you may just … [Read more...]

Trust is key to all great relationships

Without trust any relationship will flounder.  Be it at work, in a social context or, more importantly, the most valued relationship you'll ever have - your marriage. Trust is key At work you trust your business colleagues to work with you as a team.  To strive together to the common goal - be that sales, developing a new product, getting lunch out on time, whatever.  Liking them is not required.  You're not involved with them on an emotional level.  So you can trust people you don't … [Read more...]

Are you being understood?

Does the person you're talking to really understand what you're saying? The chances are they don't! Not exactly the way you meant it or felt.   Why?  Because their map of the world is different to yours.  So their interpretation of what you said (or that email you sent) could be completely different to the thoughts and sentiments you had when you said it! Add into the mix that men and women communicate differently and now everything gets doubly complicated!  Even the best, most … [Read more...]