Are you a victim of your past?

So often I see clients who are living with a problem from their past which they believe is unsolvable.  The decision that a belief or behaviour cannot be changed because of something which happened to them in their past results in them becoming stuck.  Of course this is an illusion.  They can change. They can get help. But they don't.  They remain a victim to their past. Recently a female client contacted me to help her deal with a relationship issue.  She had moved countries to be with a man … [Read more...]

Don’t let a relationship breakup destroy your life

Some  breakups are mutual agreed.  Both of you want out as the saying goes. But more frequently this is not the case. One wants to go and the other doesn't. If the relationship breakup is sudden then the one taken by surprise can go into emotional breakdown.  That feeling that something has struck you down - you feel wounded but there are no signs of physical damage. Your feelings ricochet from hating them, wanting them back, still loving them, not understanding why this has happened, … [Read more...]

Are you caring for you?

If you're in the middle of a traumatic upheaval it's very easy to forget to look after yourself.  To forget to do the things that you enjoy.  Your focus puts you in a place where all normal things 'go out of the window'. The trauma may be so great that you find you're unable to eat, unable to sleep, unable to think sensibly.  In fact you may find yourself huddled in a corner feeling like a wounded animal. These types of reaction are totally normal.  But it is important to do something … [Read more...]

Don’t let a relationship break-up ruin your life

The shock of a relationship break-up is like being in a car crash without any signs of physical damage.  Especially when the collapse is sudden and not expected. The result can often find one person plunged into a black hole which leaves them unable to find their way out. The feelings you had for your partner are questioned.  You hate them for what they've done but you still love them.  You are incredulous that they've just 'walked away' from all you've built.  You hurt like you've never … [Read more...]