The meanings we put on what we hear

Is what you heard what they actually meant? We base our meanings on our past experiences and events. So how does this effect your relationship? Well let me give you an example: You say:  "Wouldn't it be nice if we could afford to go on holiday more often" To your surprise your partner takes this as a criticism on their inability to provide, or to earn more money, that they are a bad organiser, that they are a failure, or any other negative interpretation. When from your point-of-view … [Read more...]

Are you being understood?

Does the person you're talking to really understand what you're saying? The chances are they don't! Not exactly the way you meant it or felt.   Why?  Because their map of the world is different to yours.  So their interpretation of what you said (or that email you sent) could be completely different to the thoughts and sentiments you had when you said it! Add into the mix that men and women communicate differently and now everything gets doubly complicated!  Even the best, most … [Read more...]

Most successful people have coaches….

Yes, that's right! Andy Murray has coaches and trainers. Pop stars and actors have coaches and mentors Most successful business rely on coaches and mentors to improve their business model and to assist them in achieving success - not only in the market place but also for their workforce. Tony Robbins - the famous Life Coach has people he uses as mentors and has done throughout his life. I have mentors and a coach in my life too. So there is nothing wrong in having a Coach to … [Read more...]

Ladies – do you allow yourself to be feminine?

In this day and age of equality in the workplace and women moving up the management ladder it's very easy for them to feel they should take control of everything in their path. So if you're the fixer and solver during the day, are you still being the vulnerable feminine you in the evening?  If you're not and you find you're taking over this could be bad news for your relationship as the man in your life could well end up feeling insignificant and not able to be who he is designed to be - the … [Read more...]

Are you living true to yourself?

And come to that do you know if you are or not. We all have various versions of ourselves within us which we use in different situations. Don't understand?  Yes you do! There's the person you are at work.  Maybe you're in charge of a group of people so you're the manager.  Or you're the teacher or lawyer or secretary.  Or maybe the housewife or carer. Then there's the friend or person you are when you're pursuing your hobbies. Then there's the version of you  you are  - or were -  … [Read more...]