Before you tease – be sure your teasing is kind

Today I am revisiting the subject of teasing I'm sure most of you have been teased at some stage in your life and on the whole, people only tease those they are fond of. But teasing can get out of hand. It can also be unkind, belittling or even emasculating. None of us is in a position to be certain that what we find funny or amusing will be the same for someone else. Your gentle teasing of your partner could actually be having a hurtful effect on them. They may not say so - after all, … [Read more...]

Facing the truth about your marriage issues

Today I am reposting an article I wrote several years ago on the emotional stages you need to go through to take action. I have done this as I see many couples are suffering today with relationship issues which have been exacerbated by lockdown and the ongoing restrictions we are facing during this pandemic. The Emotional Stages you need to experience as you invest in your marriage and resolve your Marriage Crisis Just to be clear before I get into this post I refer throughout to marriage … [Read more...]

Emotionally shutting yourself down is not a solution

Emotionally shutting yourself down is not a solution in a relationship which is in crisis.  It may feel the right thing to do as it removes the hurt and pain you've been experiencing.  However, if you close yourself down you have also put up a barrier between you and your partner.  Now connection will struggle. I see many clients who tell me they feel nothing.  No love for their partner, no love or feelings for their family.  "Nothing much at all really" Because if you close down the pain … [Read more...]

Do you know your partner’s true intent?

So many people I see are not in control of their emotional responses.  They react to an event because they have created an automatic response to it.  They don't know how to find out the truth.  The truth of why they behave the way they do or why their partner is behaving the way they are.  In the case of their partner - what is their true intent? Because they don't know they create a 'story' to validate their emotional response. So when their partner gets cross, frustrated or angry they … [Read more...]

What can you bring to your relationship right now?

In this current worldwide crisis, it is so easy to focus on what you are missing out on, to feel constrained or cross. Some of you will feel anxious.  Some of you will be working to help others and won't have time to focus on themselves. What can you bring to your relationship right now? If you are focusing on yourself I would like to ask yourself "What am I gaining by doing so?" By doing this are you looking for someone else to solve your issues?  Today I want you to consider changing … [Read more...]