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Do you know your partner’s true intent?

So many people I see are not in control of their emotional responses.  They react to an event because they have created an automatic response to it.  They don't know how to find out the truth.  The truth of why they behave the way they do or why their partner is behaving the way they are.  In the case of their partner - what is their true intent? Because they don't know they create a 'story' to validate their emotional response. So when their partner gets cross, frustrated or angry they … [Read more...]

The rules and laws on how life is lived

How you react in a crisis is down to how you learnt to react.  Each of us creates rules and laws on how life should be lived.  As I say we will have created these rules whilst growing up.  So if you get angry easily maybe your parents demonstrated this as a method of dealing with issues and so you learnt as a child that this is what one did. If your mother worried a great deal then you may have learnt to be a worrier. You will have created a focus to help you deal with the unexpected.  … [Read more...]

Are you exhausted by your relationship?

So often couples end up in crisis as they have exhausted themselves going over and over the symptoms of their unique issues rather than learning and understanding the deeper causes of their problems. They continue to use the same behaviours and methods of communication which got them into the crisis in the first place, with the result that nothing changes. Having tired themselves out they look for the reason they're exhausted and decide the relationship is wrong and cannot be fixed.  After … [Read more...]

If your marriage is in crisis then acknowledge it and take action

The Emotional Stages you need to Experience as you invest in your Marriage and resolve your Marriage Crisis Just to be clear before I get into this post I refer throughout to marriage crisis.  I do this to avoid making each statement too long-winded or confusing.  These stages equally apply to anyone in a relationship crisis whether you are married or not. It is up to you how quickly you take these steps.  I know for most people it takes courage.  People can feel daunted, lost and a bit … [Read more...]

Right now focus on being kind

Many couples will be struggling right now.  The current lockdown is pushing couples into more contact than they have been used to and for some, this is proving difficult.  It can be hard to focus on being kind when your partner is doing the opposite. Here are some tips to help you right now to focus on being kind. What You Can Do Focus Focus on your partner's strengths and help and support them where they are not so good. Never try to make your partner behave like you.  Each of us is a … [Read more...]