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My partner puts me down

I am often told by one or other of the people in my sessions that they feel put down by their partner.  For the one who feels this, this is a horrible place to be.  Feelings of failure, not being good enough and other negative emotions can easily dominate their mind.  Long term this will cause them to close down to their partner and withdraw. There are two sides to this issue: Are you the one who is running the put-down? If you are the one who frequently tells your partner they're wrong or … [Read more...]

You are not your partner…..

You are not your partner so you can't know what they're thinking.  There is also a high percentage chance you don't understand why they say and do the things they do.  Add to this the fact that men and women communicate differently and your chances of interpreting their actions and words can be very low. Misinterpretation of your partner's wishes can lead you down the wrong path.  In some cases, I have seen couples create a completely wrong lifestyle as each person attempts to meet what they … [Read more...]

Do You Set Yourself Up for Failure or Success?

Whether you set yourself up for failure or success is surprisingly easy. (And you may not know you're doing it).  You may think you are determined to succeed only to find you let yourself down.  The question is what's going on within you to cause you to fail when you believe, consciously, that your desire is to succeed? Couples I see in my sessions work hard to achieve success with each other.  They practice the tools and strategies I give them.  They commit in a heartfelt way to continue … [Read more...]

How to turn a Crisis into an Opportunity

Sometimes it takes a crisis to actually push someone to take action.  It's so easy to sit back and presume life will be OK.  This option disappears when one partner becomes so alienated that they decide to leave. So how do you turn a crisis into an opportunity? First of all let's discuss the crisis. The crisis will be different and unique to each couple.  However there are similarities.  Typically couples in a marriage which is failing tend to bring out the worst in each other.  Each will … [Read more...]

Do you seek justice rather than accept love?

Today I'm posing the question "Do you seek justice rather than accept love?" This may seem an odd question to some reading this but there is a good reason I'm asking you. So often in life we seek justice and by that I don't mean revenge.   Yes if we've been wronged this is understandable and needs to be resolved. But this is not what I'm talking about here. Justice can enter our lives in insidious ways which we take for granted and frequently don't even notice consciously. Let me … [Read more...]