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Valentine’s Day Hug

As Valentine's Day approaches it can be all too easy to get caught up in the hype and cost that this day can bring and forget the real message. Valentine's Day doesn't have to be all about flowers and an expensive meal out.  It can be a great deal simpler than that.  And sometimes the simple gestures carry much more meaning. That moment when you remind yourself to connect with your heart. It can be easy to forget that something as simple as an understanding hug can remind those around you … [Read more...]

Do you seek justice rather than accept love?

Today I'm posing the question "Do you seek justice rather than accept love?" This may seem an odd question to some reading this but there is a good reason I'm asking you. So often in life we seek justice and by that I don't mean revenge.   Yes if we've been wronged this is understandable and needs to be resolved. But this is not what I'm talking about here. Justice can enter our lives in insidious ways which we take for granted and frequently don't even notice consciously. Let me … [Read more...]

Love is not about Control

Many couples who come to see me looking for answers to their relationship problems complain that one of them has assumed control.  Again and again I hear one say that they feel controlled by the other. This applies to both men and women - so it is by no means the norm these days to hear the woman say she is being controlled by her man. Love is not about Control On the contrary it's about freedom and enjoying each other's differences and appreciating each other's strengths.  It's learning to … [Read more...]

When arguments escalate

When arguments escalate and take over your relationship one or both of you may decide the only option is to 'throw in the towel' and leave.  This in fact may be the right answer - you may not be meant for each other in the long term.  But how can you be sure? You see men and women work differently.  They think differently.  The act differently. When everything in the garden is rosy we can all behave like rational thinking human beings but when something flares then the animal in us takes … [Read more...]

Do you love you?

By asking you the question "do you love you?" Some of you will now be visualising the woman or man who is completely self-absorbed and pleased with themselves and doesn't give any thought to others around them.  This is not what I mean by loving yourself. Some people find it easy to love themselves and some don't.  What is essential is you must love you before you can love anyone else.  To love the person you are, the way you are, the values you have together with the idiosyncrasies you have … [Read more...]