Divorce is more painful than most people realise – find out how to avoid it

January is notorious for people seeking divorce. The arrival of a new year can concentrate the mind on the future. If your relationship is suffering then it may be that all you can see in front of you is pain. Pain that you won't be understood - ever That you're not important to your partner You are not loved in the way you need More endless arguments that go nowhere A future looks bleak - at best Couples in relationship crisis do not have time on their side. Action is … [Read more...]

Are you withholding the one thing you want?

When a couple is in crisis it is highly likely that one or both of them will have created behaviours to protect themselves from emotional pain. For couples who come to see me my role is to help them see what they are doing to themselves, to each other, and so to their relationship. So my question to you today is "Are you withholding the one thing you want?" For instance if Kindness is important to you but you are now not being kind to your partner then you are breaking your belief in … [Read more...]

For Couples in Crisis: Have you lost sight of the Positives

When a relationship is in crisis couples can easily lose sight of any positives.  The issue here is one of focus.  When in crisis it is all too easy only to focus on the negatives. The problem is if you focus on the negatives - be that behaviours, problems, issues or emotions - that is what you will feel and then your mind will hunt for more. It is very easy to tell yourself a negative story. Most people do it by the way, so if you are doing this you may be relieved to know you are not … [Read more...]

Do you know how to fight for your relationship

Many couples fight. Couples can fight over a long period of time.  Months to years.  They fight but they don't resolve.  It hurts and is very painful. Many do not know how to fight for their relationship because the pain of where they are is so great it doesn't seem possible to do. The arguments go round and round in circles and finally some couples get so fed up they take action.  Either they decide to leave the relationship or they get help. If you have built up a mass of resentments … [Read more...]

Solve your Marriage Crisis With These Stages

The Emotional Stages you need to experience as you invest in your marriage and resolve your Marriage Crisis Just to be clear before I get into this post I refer throughout to marriage crisis.  I do this to avoid making each statement too long-winded or confusing.  These stages equally apply to anyone in a relationship crisis whether you are married or not. It is up to you how quickly you take these steps.  I know for some it takes courage.  People can feel daunted, lost and a bit scared.  … [Read more...]