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Clinging to negative events might stop a positive future

Consider the title of this post.  Are you clinging to a negative event in your past?  If so what effect is it having on your future? People make mistakes In fact, it is said we learn the most when we fail, get it wrong or make a mistake. People also make mistakes in their interpretation of others' mistakes.  However, they cling to their interpretation and make it their truth. In a way it can keep themselves "safe".  This safety is a protection mechanism. It allows you to blame your … [Read more...]

Do you have the confidence needed to repair your relationship?

Today I want to connect with the couples who want to find out how to create the confidence to repair their relationship. Let me explain. It takes confidence and a strong desire to fix a relationship that is suffering or 'on the ropes'.  Many people are scared to do this.  Scared they could be wrong and that 'someone' is going to tell them so and 'tick them off'.  This stops a great number of people (couples and individuals) from seeking help.  Time and again I am told by clients that they … [Read more...]

My partner puts me down

I am often told by one or other of the people in my sessions that they feel put down by their partner.  For the one who feels this, this is a horrible place to be.  Feelings of failure, not being good enough and other negative emotions can easily dominate their mind.  Long term this will cause them to close down to their partner and withdraw. There are two sides to this issue: Are you the one who is running the put-down? If you are the one who frequently tells your partner they're wrong or … [Read more...]

You are not your partner…..

You are not your partner so you can't know what they're thinking.  There is also a high percentage chance you don't understand why they say and do the things they do.  Add to this the fact that men and women communicate differently and your chances of interpreting their actions and words can be very low. Misinterpretation of your partner's wishes can lead you down the wrong path.  In some cases, I have seen couples create a completely wrong lifestyle as each person attempts to meet what they … [Read more...]

Couples who succeed are doing this

Why do some relationships thrive longterm and others fail?  This is a question so many individuals ask me.  For a couple to succeed longterm it makes a marked difference if each individual focuses, as much as possible, at being the best possible version of themselves. What do I mean by 'being the best possible version of themselves'? It is important to understand and learn what you can bring to the relationship.  If you focus on what you can bring then you become the solution to any crisis … [Read more...]