What does success look like for you?

For this week’s post I want to focus on what success means to you.

You see it can mean different things to different people.  For some it’s all about being the best.  Whatever that means!  And by the way ‘best’ will mean different things to different people.

To others it means feeling financially secure. Again financially secure to one person might mean having absolutely no debt while to another it might mean manageable debt.  To a third it might mean, no debt of any sort and having a certain level of cash in the bank.

These are just a few examples of what success can mean.

We each have our own definition of what success means

The problem is we can get hijacked into thinking that success ought to be what others believe it should be rather than what we want.

I see many couples who have lost touch with each other in the drive to achieve and surround themselves with what they believe should be success.  When really what they want is a closer connection with each other.

Several months ago a lady came to see me desperate to have a closer relationship with her husband.

To those around her she had it all.  The house, the car, the children at good schools.  But she felt isolated, lonely and ignored.

He was so focused on his job he hadn’t seen or heard her cry for help.  His drive was to succeed and be the best at work.  Not only to be the best but to be at the top.  He believed this was his only mission in life.

What he didn’t realise was he was also using his view of success to avoid connecting with his true core self.  He had relied on success at work to protect himself from other emotions.  This had also left him feeling isolated.

His definition of success wasn’t serving him as he had hoped.

So how do you know what success means to you?

Well if you continually feel stressed, exhausted or worn out as you strive to meet your idea of success then ask yourself why do I want to achieve this and what will I get when I get there.  Also what will I lose?  What is truly important to me?  I don’t suggest you give up on something but it is important to make sure you’re doing something for the right reasons.  You must to sure you are doing it to meet your needs.  Not because you have taken on someone else’s idea of success.

Success could mean being successful at being you

I worked with the couple I mentioned above, over a 3 month period, to re-align them with their core values and needs. To help each of them find who they were meant and wanted to be.  This enabled them to be successful at being themselves as individuals.  Once they did this they learnt how to be successful with each other.