Google+

Right now focus on being kind

Many couples will be struggling right now.  The current lockdown is pushing couples into more contact than they have been used to and for some, this is proving difficult.  It can be hard to focus on being kind when your partner is doing the opposite.

Here are some tips to help you right now to focus on being kind.

What You Can Do

Focus

Focus on your partner’s strengths and help and support them where they are not so good.

Never try to make your partner behave like you.  Each of us is a unique human being.  Each of us has a different blueprint of how the world should be and right now, for a large number of people, life isn’t how it is supposed to be.

If you can, value your partner’s differences as strengths.  Focus and search for a new meaning to their behaviours.

What you focus on is what you get.  If your focus is ‘hunting’ for negatives to the current situation, and maybe in your partner, then negatives are what you will find.  Change your focus to searching for positives – however small – and this will help you.

Take Responsibility

Take 100% responsibility for the state of your relationship.  By doing this you remove blame

Judgement

Never judge your partner.  The only person qualified to judge you is you.  The only person to judge them is them.  You haven’t lived their life so you cannot judge them.

Overcome your emotional response

  1. Breathe
  2. Acknowledge your emotional response
  3. Pause and wait before responding
  4. Allow your emotional response to calm
  5. Practice

Help

Use the Free Action Guide available on this site.  Just fill in the form and follow the instructions for the download.

I am offering Skype sessions to couples and individuals over the next few weeks.  Please contact me if you need help.