How you talk to yourself can have a big impact on you

Today I would like you to think about the words you use when you’re talking to yourself.  We all do talk to ourselves. When we think through an issue or a problem or just how the day is going we use words.

The words we use play a big part in how we feel and what state we’re in at any given moment.  So do you use words that will help you or do you use words which may hinder you?

For example:

If you find you’re feeling angry over something, you can start to feed yourself words to describe that feeling:  irritation, anger, fury…..   and as you do so, so your angry mood escalates!  How about acknowledging the anger and then finding kinder words to express your feelings.  You could swap fury to feeling peeved.

When you feel stuck do you keep telling yourself ‘I don’t know what to do?’   If so, then the chances are nothing is going to change – you’ve just told your mind not to do anything.  What would happen if you changed your thought process to “I wonder when I will find a solution?”  Now your brain has the opportunity to solve rather than remain stuck.

Couples In Crisis

For couples in crisis the state they create within them, the language they use for themselves and then to each other has a significant effect on the State of their Relationship.

They go from focusing on one other to focusing on themselves.  They start to ‘count’ their resentments and so begin to build a justification for their moods and behaviours.  Without realising it they create a negative state, use negative language and so miss so many opportunities to solve and find some of the positives.

In this state, they make being right more important than their relationship.

Change your language

By changing the language you use to describe your feelings you can change your emotional response

The answer to giving yourself the most choices and the best possible outcome is by asking yourself  “How can I now improve this situation so we both benefit?”

By the way – frequently the first answer that comes straight back is “NOTHING!”  But don’t allow this to be the final answer.  Don’t give up on yourself.

Now ask yourself “OK but what could I find of benefit if I chose to?”  and “How can I help my partner right now?”

Remember you can talk yourself into a bad mood or into a good mood – the choice is yours.