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How to turn a Crisis into an Opportunity

Sometimes it takes a crisis to actually push someone to take action.  It’s so easy to sit back and presume life will be OK.  This option disappears when one partner becomes so alienated that they decide to leave.

So how do you turn a crisis into an opportunity?

First of all let’s discuss the crisis.

The crisis will be different and unique to each couple.  However there are similarities.  Typically couples in a marriage which is failing tend to bring out the worst in each other.  Each will have their own version of what’s happening and why and also believe they’ve tried everything to get their partner to see the issues from their point of view.  This leads to immense frustration and resentment.  The person will then stack the resentments and also be on red-alert to stack more.  Now one or both of you are missing all the good in your focus to back up your belief that ‘everything’ is bad.

This downward spiral leads to CRISIS.

The Opportunity – Hot Tip

If you believe in your relationship then this is down to you.  Firstly, and most importantly, you have to decide you are going to take 100% responsibility for change.  Not change in your partner but change in how YOU interact with your partner.

  1. How you speak to them. The tone of voice you use, the words you use, the time of day you choose.
  2. How you listen to them.  Are you sincere when you listen?  Do you listen to respond?  Do you listen to defend?  Neither of these will allow your partner to feel heard.  You must learn how to Listen to Learn.
  3. Be optimistic!  If you adopt an optimistic view of your relationship you will open your mind to new opportunities.  As someone once said “Minds, like parachutes, need to be open to work well”.  You may get rebuffed and face some angry blame on the part of your partner.  But nothing is set in stone forever.  Views and attitudes can change – but your partner will only change their view when they see consistency and sincerity and so feel safe to consider new options.  You are not responsible for changing them.

It takes skill to keep a good relationship alive.  Skills that can be learnt and practised.

If you would like to learn more  and discover if your relationship can be saved then taking action now is the time to do so.  Time is, so often, not on your side.