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Hints to Help You

It isn’t possible to have a good and trusting relationship with your partner if you are not running the best version of yourself.

How you talk to yourself – the language you use when formulating your thoughts – has a massive input on how you see others and how you respond to the world around you.

What do you focus on?

Do you focus on past resentments and injustices?  Are you one of those who refuses to let go?  If that is the case ask yourself:

How long should the ‘prison sentence’ be.  Are you going to make it Life?

It is very easy to inflict a ‘prison sentence’ on your partner without thinking or considering the consequences.  Yes, you are hurting them but you are also hurting yourself.  The weight of dragging the past with you each and every day.  You also carry the burden of Judgement.

No one is qualified to judge you except you

Why?  Because no one else has lived your life.

You can judge their actions (Note:  if these involve physical or true mental abuse then get out quick) but are you really sure you know why they said or did what they did?  If you feel unfairly judged but at the same time are judging your partner then neither of you is being the best version of yourself.

How you think matters

My favourite quote – attributed to the Dalai Lama – is one I frequently use with my clients to help them evaluate how they think and focus day-to-day

  • Take care of your Thoughts because they become Words.
  • Take care of your Words because they will become Actions.
  • Take care of your Actions because they will become Habits.
  • Take care of your Habits because they will form your Character.
  • Take care of your Character because it will form your Destiny,
  • And your Destiny will be your Life…