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Emotionally shutting yourself down is not a solution

Emotionally shutting yourself down is not a solution in a relationship which is in crisis.  It may feel the right thing to do as it removes the hurt and pain you’ve been experiencing.  However, if you close yourself down you have also put up a barrier between you and your partner.  Now connection will struggle.

I see many clients who tell me they feel nothing.  No love for their partner, no love or feelings for their family.  “Nothing much at all really”

Because if you close down the pain you also close down many other emotions at the same time.  You enter an emotionally barren place where all you feel is numb.  You may also feel isolated.

It is vital to find out what has happened and why

This emotional state is there for a reason.  It can feel safe and protective and will have been created for that reason – Protection.  However, it won’t be giving you what you truly desire – which is a loving connection.

We are designed to move towards pleasure and away from pain.  In the position of feeling numb individuals don’t feel anything – no pain and not much pleasure either.

This state is not meeting your basic human needs and is not meeting your values either.

Be aware any uncomfortable, tiring, or numb state is as a result of not being who you are supposed to be.

Learning about what you need in life and why and how those needs need to be met is key in learning about yourself and understanding the patterns you have created.  Some of these patterns may be rather destructive.

You cannot have a loving and fulfilling relationship with another human being unless you understand you first.  This will release you into being the person you want to be and so be able to be successful with your partner.