Do you have the confidence needed to repair your relationship?

Today I want to connect with the couples who want to find out how to create the confidence to repair their relationship.

Let me explain.

It takes confidence and a strong desire to fix a relationship that is suffering or ‘on the ropes’.  Many people are scared to do this.  Scared they could be wrong and that ‘someone’ is going to tell them so and ‘tick them off’.  This stops a great number of people (couples and individuals) from seeking help.  Time and again I am told by clients that they believed they should either know what to do or if they don’t then they’re in the wrong relationship.

This is not the case

The problem is most people want to be right and so they make being right more important to them than giving love and helping their partner in times of crisis or misunderstanding.  They badger them to accept their point-of-view and their decision rather than taking time to understand that the other person will have different views based on different needs.

The need to be right frequently stems for a desire to feel safe.  Questioning your own beliefs and decisions can feel very scary and uncertain – and not very safe.  However, to create a strong, passionate and close relationship both of you need to find the confidence to help your partner to feel safe to say how they are feeling.  If you can find the confidence to come out of how you are thinking and feeling and connect with your partner to understand them then they will feel safe to say.  This has to work both ways.

You have to have the confidence to accept their feelings and not dismiss them as trivial or wrong.  If you make your partner wrong then they will feel a failure and begin to shut their emotions down for you.

This can result in many relationships ending when they didn’t need to.  Not only that but the relationship could have become better than it had ever been had you learnt the tools to help rather than hinder.

How do I get the confidence to succeed

First and foremost you have to understand you.  By learning about you, you can then create the best version of you for you.  This will create confidence.  The confidence that can become the solution to your partner’s problems rather than the cause.

Once you have gained the confidence to be the best version of you then learning the tools to help becomes exciting as you can use them from a place of growth and safety.