Not all relationships can be saved

Here I am working as a Relationship and Marriage Coach and I've just announced not all relationships can be saved.  Of course this is true.  Some relationships should not be saved and cannot be saved.  No relationship should be saved just for the sake of saving it. This will not work long-term and may not be in the interests of either partner or the children in that relationship. Most couples believe, quite rightly,  that a marriage - or relationship - should be full of mutual understanding, … [Read more...]

Where is your relationship today?

How you focus on your relationship will have a massive effect on the type of relationship you have and how connected you are in your relationship.  Many couples disconnect over time and then wonder why they no longer experience the intimacy and connection they had when they first met. Let me explain in more detail by asking you to look at the following levels of where you could be today. I look to meet my needs first or I look to meet my needs without consideration of those of my … [Read more...]

When love is not enough…..

I have recently had the privilege and pleasure to work with a client coming through the issues of a failed on/off relationship. Sometimes two people are not meant for each other.  This was the case for them.  The reason he found success in his coaching experience so quickly was down to his determination to learn and his curiosity about himself.  By freeing his mind to new ideas he was able to update his belief system and free himself for a new exciting future. Today I received this email … [Read more...]

Do you put more effort into avoiding pain than gaining pleasure?

So this is my question to you today "Are you putting your efforts into avoiding pain rather than putting your efforts into gaining pleasure?" You see because we are designed as humans to avoid pain then we naturally focus on avoiding pain.  This sounds perfectly good doesn't it. But what are you doing to gain pleasure? To gain pleasure you have to face the element of risk.  That risk element is the fear of rejection.  Fear that your actions or advances will be turned down or rejected.  So … [Read more...]

When life feels wrong what should you do next?

When life feels wrong the question of what to do next is probably one that occupies a person's mind a great deal. Many people carry on behaving and doing the things that actually have got them to where they are now.  Either that or they withdraw and close down emotionally.  This will, of course, protect them and there is often a feeling of safety and security in doing this. I see this so often in the couples who come to my sessions.  One partner has often withdrawn and shut out the other.  … [Read more...]