When life feels wrong what should you do next?

When life feels wrong the question of what to do next is probably one that occupies a person's mind a great deal. Many people carry on behaving and doing the things that actually have got them to where they are now.  Either that or they withdraw and close down emotionally.  This will, of course, protect them and there is often a feeling of safety and security in doing this. I see this so often in the couples who come to my sessions.  One partner has often withdrawn and shut out the other.  … [Read more...]

True Love – a life’s commitment

When couples are going through difficult times and considering if they should be together many will wonder if True Love really exists.  So does it? Yes I believe True Love does exist.  It exists through a life commitment.  A commitment to learn a grow through times of conflict and to work at what you've got and built together. So many couples get lost and find themselves in a place that either doesn't feel right or is not where they want to be. They can end up behaving in ways that don't … [Read more...]

Are you focusing only on what YOU want?

The signs of relationship troubles will start to appear when one or both of you begins to focus solely on what you want out of your relationship and, more to the point, what you are not getting, rather than what you can do to improve and grow your relationship. So if someone is watching and focusing on what their partner says or does and turns that into failure or misunderstanding and how their actions and words are not meeting what they need then this will stack in their mind and they will … [Read more...]

Are you adding value to your partner?

Do you have a purpose or goal for where you want your life to go?  Or are you running your life on a 'fingers crossed' approach. Of course not!  I don't imagine for one moment that you allow your career to run on this idea.  I imagine several years ago you had a plan for what you wanted to become or do in life and then set about learning the skills you needed to achieve your goal.  You probably didn't stop at stage one - getting a job - and then sit back and do nothing except the job you'd … [Read more...]

Do you have a Love List or a Chores List?

When you think about your partner which comes to mind?   Do you have a Love List or do you have a Failings List - A Chores List? One of the most important questions you can ask yourself is "What do I want from my relationship?".  This is where you have to be absolutely honest with yourself. So write down the answers as they flash into your mind.  It doesn't matter what comes up - just scribble them down.  When you've asked yourself enough times then look at what you've put down. Now … [Read more...]