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The power of your state

In today's post, I want you to think about the emotional state you are in most of the time, within your relationship. So what do I mean by this? How you are with your partner will have a massive impact on how they behave with you and also on how you react to them. Negative State v Positive State We all have moments of feeling negative.  But watch out - the power of negativity on your mind and body is immense.  You can change what used to be amusing behaviours into irritation.  Those … [Read more...]

Are you self-sabotaging your efforts?

In today's post, I am going to investigate this interesting question:  "Are you self-sabotaging your efforts?" I am frequently told by my clients that they have "Tried everything to fix their problems". My response to this is: You have done everything except the thing which works Trying won't get you very far How you talk to yourself - and by that I mean the way you think problems through - will have a massive impact on how you behave and the actions you take. Let's take this … [Read more...]

Check in with your emotional responses and triggers

We all have emotional responses to situations or actions by others.  This is normal.  However, have you ever noticed that some people's responses can seem, to you either 'over-reactive' or, alternatively, far better than yours? How you react to a situation is unique to you. You will have created emotional responses to situations throughout your life.  Some will have been created early on,  maybe to protect you from, say, being teased, or to keep you safe from a harsh environment at home or … [Read more...]

Your emotional focus will affect your relationship

Today I want you to think about how you approach different aspects of your day and your life.  Your emotional focus. We all know if we turn up to work in a bad mood then mostly we will have a miserable day.  The day drags and parts of it can feel irritating!   A negative focus can give us a negative day. How do you approach your relationship? The same applies to your relationship.  If your focus is all about what is wrong with it you will spot the negatives.  The problem with this is it … [Read more...]

If you are stuck in a rut it’s important to discover why

I worked with this man over a period of a few months to help him to reconnect with who he really is and, as he says below, who he wants to be. These are his words: I worked with Linden through an incredibly difficult period in my life. It was the most positive experience in recent years and the investment in me has meant I have a strong and happy future ahead of me. At 37 I was going through a mid-life crisis and my behaviour materially affected my relationship with my partner of 20 … [Read more...]