The power of your state

In today's post, I want you to think about the emotional state you are in most of the time, within your relationship. So what do I mean by this? How you are with your partner will have a massive impact on how they behave with you and also on how you react to them. Negative State v Positive State We all have moments of feeling negative.  But watch out - the power of negativity on your mind and body is immense.  You can change what used to be amusing behaviours into irritation.  Those … [Read more...]

Learn how to tell your partner what you need

Time and again I hear from one or both people in a relationship crisis that they've done all the giving and their partner has only taken.  I am told they've tried everything and now they're fed up with being taken for granted.  They feel unappreciated, unloved and misunderstood.  The trust has gone and now the relationship is dying - fast. Arguments flare in a series of seemingly inconsequential, incidents.  You both become angry and defensive and confused by the emotional responses of the … [Read more...]

Men – a post for you today

Today I want to focus on the men with relationship problems.  However, it is important that women read this so they can understand where men are coming from. Men, you are, by and large, fixers and solvers.  This is where you feel successful and of use.  It is an important part of who you are. To enable you to fix or solve you will probably make any problem as small as you can - basically, so you can solve it!  Within your working environment or social activities, this works fine.  By the way, … [Read more...]

The Best Day Of Your Life

When thinking about the best day of your life most will look back to a big event, some say their school days, others a special holiday or job. Many people tell me that the best day of their life was their wedding day or the day a child was born.  Some memorable event in their lives. One woman, who came to see me, told me her husband had ruined the best day of her life by getting drunk on their wedding day.  So for her, the best day of her life had passed and now anything good was being … [Read more...]

Do you know your partner’s true intent?

So many people I see are not in control of their emotional responses.  They react to an event because they have created an automatic response to it.  They don't know how to find out the truth.  The truth of why they behave the way they do or why their partner is behaving the way they are.  In the case of their partner - what is their true intent? Because they don't know they create a 'story' to validate their emotional response. So when their partner gets cross, frustrated or angry they … [Read more...]