Your day is yours to use as you choose

This is a repost from an earlier one which I want to bring to your attention today.  Your day is yours to use as you choose.  It is important sometimes to remind ourselves that this is so. Before I expand on the title of this post I acknowledge that each person's predicament is different and so their challenges are also unique.  For some, the challenges are out of their control due to where they live or external forces.  These are not the people I am talking about today.  However, that being … [Read more...]

Your emotional focus will affect your relationship

Today I want you to think about how you approach different aspects of your day and your life.  Your emotional focus. We all know if we turn up to work in a bad mood then mostly we will have a miserable day.  The day drags and parts of it can feel irritating!   A negative focus can give us a negative day. How do you approach your relationship? The same applies to your relationship.  If your focus is all about what is wrong with it you will spot the negatives.  The problem with this is it … [Read more...]

Couples who succeed are doing this

Why do some relationships thrive longterm and others fail?  This is a question so many individuals ask me.  For a couple to succeed longterm it makes a marked difference if each individual focuses, as much as possible, at being the best possible version of themselves. What do I mean by 'being the best possible version of themselves'? It is important to understand and learn what you can bring to the relationship.  If you focus on what you can bring then you become the solution to any crisis … [Read more...]

Are you overprotecting your partner?

Overprotecting your partner is one of the patterns of behaviour that help destroy a relationship. Many couples who come to me for help discover they have created this dynamic of overprotection for each other. Protection for each other is, of course, a good thing.  But when it becomes intrusive or overprotecting then problems can arise. Some overprotecting examples Women can become over-protectors.  When a woman does this it can feel normal and the right thing to do. However, ladies, by … [Read more...]

Some couples are unkind to each other

Some of the couples who seek my help have created a dynamic which is unkind.  They say unkind words and behave in unkind ways to each other and in some way expect this to give them a good future.  Of course, they know it isn't working but they don't know how to stop. My question to them is What does being unkind give you? Most people are kind. When you first met your partner you both spent your time being kind to each other.  That and the chemistry that sparked you both to connect resulted … [Read more...]