How can I experience more love?

"How can I experience more love with my partner in this moment of conflict"? This is not a question many of the couples I see ever ask themselves.  They go into a place of pain and hurt and in many cases do the opposite. Rather than find out and, maybe, let go of the pain they are experiencing, they go to a place where they behave badly.  They seek revenge.  Maybe they retaliate.  They withdraw.  They lay down the law according to their perception of the situation of how they're feeling or … [Read more...]

My partner puts me down

I am often told by one or other of the people in my sessions that they feel put down by their partner.  For the one who feels this, this is a horrible place to be.  Feelings of failure, not being good enough and other negative emotions can easily dominate their mind.  Long term this will cause them to close down to their partner and withdraw. There are two sides to this issue: Are you the one who is running the put-down? If you are the one who frequently tells your partner they're wrong or … [Read more...]

You are not your partner…..

You are not your partner so you can't know what they're thinking.  There is also a high percentage chance you don't understand why they say and do the things they do.  Add to this the fact that men and women communicate differently and your chances of interpreting their actions and words can be very low. Misinterpretation of your partner's wishes can lead you down the wrong path.  In some cases, I have seen couples create a completely wrong lifestyle as each person attempts to meet what they … [Read more...]

Your day is yours to use as you choose

This is a repost from an earlier one which I want to bring to your attention today.  Your day is yours to use as you choose.  It is important sometimes to remind ourselves that this is so. Before I expand on the title of this post I acknowledge that each person's predicament is different and so their challenges are also unique.  For some, the challenges are out of their control due to where they live or external forces.  These are not the people I am talking about today.  However, that being … [Read more...]

Your emotional focus will affect your relationship

Today I want you to think about how you approach different aspects of your day and your life.  Your emotional focus. We all know if we turn up to work in a bad mood then mostly we will have a miserable day.  The day drags and parts of it can feel irritating!   A negative focus can give us a negative day. How do you approach your relationship? The same applies to your relationship.  If your focus is all about what is wrong with it you will spot the negatives.  The problem with this is it … [Read more...]