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Which version of you shows up with your partner?

We all have different versions of ourselves that we use in different situations. Good relationships don't stay good without a deep and committed understanding of yourself and who you are, however by habitually using the wrong version of you for your partner you may not be getting the best from your relationhip. So my question is which version of you is showing up for your partner? Is it: The work you The parent you (Mum or Dad you) The child you (good or bad) The fun you … [Read more...]

Find out how to give yourself success

This week I'm again reposting a previous post as I see so many couples lost in confusion about how to solve their problems. So I'm repeating some useful tips: Be courageous Couples who succeed have learnt to be truthful and to give love no matter what.  During difficult and painful times they know how to be totally present for their partner. To be fully present you need to focus on them completely.  This means you don't resort to criticism and you don't reject them.  You seek to understand … [Read more...]

Before you tease – be sure your teasing is kind

Today I am revisiting the subject of teasing I'm sure most of you have been teased at some stage in your life and on the whole, people only tease those they are fond of. But teasing can get out of hand. It can also be unkind, belittling or even emasculating. None of us is in a position to be certain that what we find funny or amusing will be the same for someone else. Your gentle teasing of your partner could actually be having a hurtful effect on them. They may not say so - after all, … [Read more...]

Facing the truth about your marriage issues

Today I am reposting an article I wrote several years ago on the emotional stages you need to go through to take action. I have done this as I see many couples are suffering today with relationship issues which have been exacerbated by lockdown and the ongoing restrictions we are facing during this pandemic. The Emotional Stages you need to experience as you invest in your marriage and resolve your Marriage Crisis Just to be clear before I get into this post I refer throughout to marriage … [Read more...]

Emotionally shutting yourself down is not a solution

Emotionally shutting yourself down is not a solution in a relationship which is in crisis.  It may feel the right thing to do as it removes the hurt and pain you've been experiencing.  However, if you close yourself down you have also put up a barrier between you and your partner.  Now connection will struggle. I see many clients who tell me they feel nothing.  No love for their partner, no love or feelings for their family.  "Nothing much at all really" Because if you close down the pain … [Read more...]