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Hints to Help You

It isn't possible to have a good and trusting relationship with your partner if you are not running the best version of yourself. How you talk to yourself - the language you use when formulating your thoughts - has a massive input on how you see others and how you respond to the world around you. What do you focus on? Do you focus on past resentments and injustices?  Are you one of those who refuses to let go?  If that is the case ask yourself: How long should the 'prison sentence' be.  … [Read more...]

Retirement

Today's post is completely different from all others. I will be closing down my coaching services at the end of March 2021. Like all people who face a change of direction or contemplate retirement (in my case), challenges appear.  For many, it can feel daunting. For those contemplating retirement, you can face questions like: What will I do with all my extra time? Will I survive financially? Will I still feel I'm me? What will be the impact on my relationship? there are - … [Read more...]

Train your emotional muscle

How do you approach different aspects of your day and your life? We all know if we turn up to work in a bad mood then mostly we will have a miserable day.  The day drags!   A negative state can give us a negative day. How do you approach your relationship? The same applies to your relationship.  If your focus is all about what is wrong with it you will be on the hunt for the negatives.  The problem with this is that you will probably miss seeing, and appreciating the positives.  If you … [Read more...]

Are your behaviours kind?

I have written a few times on the subject of teasing and how damaging it can be to a relationship. Of course, teasing has its place,  however, it can be damaging - especially in public.  Those moments when you are together amongst friends, colleagues or family.  They may see it as your banter and accept it as part of your relationship but is your banter actually a series of put-downs? Do you really know how your partner is feeling in those moments?  They may laugh, but that may be to hide … [Read more...]

Would you like to be on the receiving end of you?

When your relationship is in crisis you can find yourself on the defensive and angry. You will also probably blame your partner. You can feel they have changed their behaviours and created a version of themselves which you dislike.  But what about you?  Are you also responsible?  The answer is YES. If you are also lashing out without any thought on how these negative, destructive behaviours will be received then I would like you to ask yourself: Would you like to be on the receiving end … [Read more...]