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Before you tease – be sure your teasing is kind

Today I am revisiting the subject of teasing I'm sure most of you have been teased at some stage in your life and on the whole, people only tease those they are fond of. But teasing can get out of hand. It can also be unkind, belittling or even emasculating. None of us is in a position to be certain that what we find funny or amusing will be the same for someone else. Your gentle teasing of your partner could actually be having a hurtful effect on them. They may not say so - after all, … [Read more...]

Facing the truth about your marriage issues

Today I am reposting an article I wrote several years ago on the emotional stages you need to go through to take action. I have done this as I see many couples are suffering today with relationship issues which have been exacerbated by lockdown and the ongoing restrictions we are facing during this pandemic. The Emotional Stages you need to experience as you invest in your marriage and resolve your Marriage Crisis Just to be clear before I get into this post I refer throughout to marriage … [Read more...]

Emotionally shutting yourself down is not a solution

Emotionally shutting yourself down is not a solution in a relationship which is in crisis.  It may feel the right thing to do as it removes the hurt and pain you've been experiencing.  However, if you close yourself down you have also put up a barrier between you and your partner.  Now connection will struggle. I see many clients who tell me they feel nothing.  No love for their partner, no love or feelings for their family.  "Nothing much at all really" Because if you close down the pain … [Read more...]

How you talk to yourself can have a big impact on you

Today I would like you to think about the words you use when you're talking to yourself.  We all do talk to ourselves. When we think through an issue or a problem or just how the day is going we use words. The words we use play a big part in how we feel and what state we're in at any given moment.  So do you use words that will help you or do you use words which may hinder you? For example: If you find you're feeling angry over something, you can start to feed yourself words to describe … [Read more...]

Take charge of your emotional responses

How do you react when your partner is cross? Is your immediate response to defend your own actions or do you take a moment to translate their words - not from your own perspective but from theirs? Are you master of your emotional responses or a slave to them? Many clients I see have created negative emotional responses which are not serving them.  They can be triggered by past events, how they learnt to respond from their parents and their basic character.  Many of these responses were … [Read more...]