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Are your behaviours kind?

I have written a few times on the subject of teasing and how damaging it can be to a relationship.

Of course, teasing has its place,  however, it can be damaging – especially in public.  Those moments when you are together amongst friends, colleagues or family.  They may see it as your banter and accept it as part of your relationship but is your banter actually a series of put-downs?

Do you really know how your partner is feeling in those moments?  They may laugh, but that may be to hide their hurt.  No one wants to be accused of being ‘over-sensitive’.

Are your public behaviours as kind as they could be?

If they’re not then I suggest you ‘check-in’ with yourself:

“If I wouldn’t say this at home when I haven’t got an audience then I won’t say it in public” is a good start point.

Your job in your relationship is to make your partner feel great about themselves

It is not your job to make yourself appear funnier, or superior at their expense by resorting to a cheap dig. So often this is actually what happens and I cannot stress enough how damaging it is.  It kills connection and passion.  It kills love.

By changing your focus to your partner and what you can do and say to make them feel special you are making them feel safe, wanted, cherished and loved.

Couples who do this succeed. Their relationship grows.  They are able to deal with issues confidently as they know their partner has got their back – even when upsets occur.

This week with much of the UK in lockdown and so many unable to visit family and friends over the festive season – give yourselves the opportunity to rekindle kindness.  Kindness to each other.

If you change nothing, nothing will change.

Small changes can make all the difference.