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Are you living true to yourself?

And come to that do you know if you are or not.

We all have various versions of ourselves within us which we use in different situations.

Don’t understand?  Yes you do!

There’s the person you are at work.  Maybe you’re in charge of a group of people so you’re the manager.  Or you’re the teacher or lawyer or secretary.  Or maybe the housewife or carer.

Then there’s the friend or person you are when you’re pursuing your hobbies.

Then there’s the version of you  you are  – or were –  for your partner.  Are you the same now as when you first got together or have you become the Work person at home?

Let me give you an example:

An airline captain  has to be in control at work.  His ability to make instant decisions is crucial to survival.  You can’t pull over and think about things at 30,000 ft!  His ability to continue to make controlling decisions depending on fast changing circumstances is also crucial.  In all these moments there is often not time to discuss the situation in depth and reach a compromise.  In moments of crisis compromise is rarely an option.

Now the airline captain comes home.  At work he is successful.  His decision making  no-compromise ability has made him successful and significant.  So what does he do?

He uses this version of himself at home.  After all it works at work so why not at home.

Surprise, surprise!   His wife and family don’t respond like a plane.  They don’t react the way a plane does.  But he knows he’s right.  Control gives him certainty and significance  (two of our basic human needs) so he strives to maintain this requirement.

Did he do this when he was dating his wife?  No!   He strived to please her.  To win her and to make her happy.

Reconnecting with that version of himself when he’s at home would be a great way to improve his home life!

So are you connected with the version of you,  you want to be with your partner or have you lost touch with that version of yourself?