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You can’t expect your partner to think the way you do

For today’s post I want you to think about how you communicate with your partner.  You see your partner will not think the way you do.   They won’t know how you think either. As a result they won’t communicate the way you do.  Especially in times of stress.  We are all individuals and each and every one of us has our own way of communicating anxiety, stress and upsets.

Some people will go quiet.  Others will shout.  Some will giggle nervously!  We are all different.  We have all learnt how to communicate in different ways.  In most cases we learnt from our parents but siblings, teachers and friends will have also played their part.

Arguments are frequently a result of misunderstanding communication style

I am told time and time again by the couples who come to see me that they are having arguments that go nowhere and end with both of them feeling hurt, not heard and misunderstood.

You see if you are someone who shouts or yells and you live with someone goes quiet then the chances of you really understanding each other in times of stress can be unlikely.

Add to this the fact that men and women communicate differently and now you can easily enter a ‘war zone’.

Learn to be the best version of you and make sure you present this to your partner

First you both need to learn about yourselves and why you use the communication styles you do.  Then you will learn how to appreciate those differences and support your partner so they don’t need to feel defensive.

You will both learn how to really hear the other so you can become partners who support each other rather than attack.

We all want a close connected relationship. This can only be achieved if you both understand each other at a deep level.

This is just one of the tools I teach couples to help them on their road to recovery.  In many, many case I’m told that as a result of gaining these tools they now have a relationship together which is stronger than it has ever been.