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What do you value in your life?

Today I want you to think about what you value in life.  By value I want you to think about emotional needs.

You see there’s a massive difference between a person who, say,  values Security as their number one value and a person who values Adventure as their number one value.

For example, a person – whose number one value is Security – sits down in a conference hall with several hundred other people next to someone whose number one value is Adventure.  Which one will know where every exit in the room is and which ones are Fire Exits.?  Which one will be thrilled and excited to have arrived on time in the right room?

Neither are wrong but each will be having a different experience.  And this is before the conference has begun!

So what has this to do with relationships.

Well if one partner’s top value is Security or Certainty then they will make decisions based on that. The type of person who can only relax if everything is in its correct place.  The type who wants to hold on to controlling their world.  If they’re living with someone whose top value is Adventure then think about it – life could get very difficult for one or both of them.

Both have their place and are important but if the couple have trouble realising that both are important then one or both will feel misunderstood and unheard or not respected.  This will damage the relationship long term.

People can become wedded to their beliefs and values structure and lose sight of the bigger picture. In the case of my imaginary couple above the one whose top value is Security will be keeping the family safe and secure but may be missing out on fun and adventure.  The one who loves adventure could well jeopardise the family’s safety in the need for exploration and maybe taking too many risks.

Together if they work as a team and appreciate each other’s values they can create a dynamic which not only gives them both a closer connection but also teach their children skills which will give them a safe but exciting future.

This is only one tiny example of how our decisions in life are controlled by our beliefs and values, and how they can create and build fantastic relationships and futures or how they can limit and halt growth.

If you would like to learn more on this important aspect of emotional development then call me.

Great Future