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Are you withholding the one thing you want?

When a couple is in crisis it is highly likely that one or both of them will have created behaviours to protect themselves from emotional pain. For couples who come to see me my role is to help them see what they are doing to themselves, to each other, and so to their relationship. So my question to you today is "Are you withholding the one thing you want?" For instance if Kindness is important to you but you are now not being kind to your partner then you are breaking your belief in … [Read more...]

Relationships can suffer when other areas of your life aren’t working

Relationships can suffer badly when you have problems in other areas of your life. Equally if your relationship is suffering then it can have a knock-on effect on your work or some other area of your life. If this is happening to you then it is worth exploring all possibilities before making a decision which could effect your entire future and be the wrong one to make. We all know when something isn't right in our lives.  However everybody reacts differently to different … [Read more...]

Create your driver to change

When I first meet a couple in trouble, in their first session with me, I am frequently told by one or both that "It's all the his/her fault" "I would never behave the way he/she has" "I would never do what he/she did" "He/she is never going to change so what's the point" "It's their way or no way" The problem with remaining in this place is there is very little possibility of resolving the issues.  Their focus is on what is wrong.  Their perception is that nothing will change so of … [Read more...]

We all want an extraordinary relationship

When couples come to see me they have lost the ability to create an extraordinary relationship.  The one they had when they first met. They have lost  that amazing connection? Long-lasting, loving and passionate relationships don't just happen.  They need a determination to work together to keep the love and passion alive.  The commitment has to be total even when there are problems.  A commitment to work through the issues together and to grow to help each other through. If you want your … [Read more...]

When did you last flirt with your partner?

Yes I do mean it.  When did you last flirt with your partner? You see when we meet someone we are attracted to we go out and out to encourage them.  This will include flirting! Couples in crisis have often not only forgotten what attracted them to their partner in the first place but, in many cases, have forgotten how to attract each other. Life gets in the way.  Jobs, children, chores......  the list is a long one.  In the midst of this are two people who are valiantly working at … [Read more...]