To admit you need help is a good thing

So many couples leave seeking help until it's almost too late. Frequently many don't want to admit to each other that they don't have the answers. We believe that we should be able to resolve our issues ourselves. This is all well and good if you can.  But what happens if you don't have the tools to do so?  Attempting to solve your problems from the wrong place can often make matters worse. On Friday this week there was an article in the Daily Telegraph headed "Michelle is right, we all … [Read more...]

When did you last flirt with your partner?

Yes I do mean it.  When did you last flirt with your partner? You see when we meet someone we are attracted to we go out and out to encourage them.  This will include flirting! Couples in crisis have often not only forgotten what attracted them to their partner in the first place but, in many cases, have forgotten how to attract each other. Life gets in the way.  Jobs, children, chores......  the list is a long one.  In the midst of this are two people who are valiantly working at … [Read more...]

Couples in Crisis

A common problem I see in couples who come to me for coaching is they've lost sight of who they are.  They are no longer living in their true identity.  The opposites that attracted them in the first place. If an individual loses touch with who they are then the relationship they have with their partner will change. Signs that all is not well are changes in behaviour.  A person who becomes withdrawn or aggressive.  An individual who becomes very demanding or alternatively a pleaser. I … [Read more...]

Focus on your partner to get what you want

If you focus solely on what you want out of your relationship and, more to the point, what you are not getting, then there's a high probability that your relationship will suffer. A person in this place can fall into the trap of 'hunting for negatives'. What do I mean by that? Are you watching and focusing on what your partner says or does in order to spot failure.  In this place it is all too easy to turn any action or communication into a negative.  Why?  Because you are focusing on what … [Read more...]

Don’t run until you have all the facts

When someone sees their future as unhappy or hopeless then the solution to end their relationship may feel like the only option. However life-altering decisions made or taken when a person is suffering can frequently be bad. Maybe not right away.  Maybe not in a matter of weeks or months  but so often years later a person can look back and regret a decision or action they took which changed their life dramatically and ultimately not for the better.  They often find that the problem they … [Read more...]