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Become curious

One of the great communication skills you can develop is to become curious about what your partner likes and enjoys. This is especially important if you feel your communication has broken down.  Yes I know all you want to do is to talk about the issues and maybe the pain you're feeling. But if you do this continuously then there's a good chance your partner will close down and withdraw.  They'll then begin avoiding any close chats.  Why because they'll start seeing 'close chats' as painful … [Read more...]

Become an understanding listener

I've posted on this subject before but I cannot emphasise enough the need to become an understanding listener.  To actually understand your partner's words and the intention behind those words. So often when couples argue it's because they feel they're not getting through to their partner.  One or both of you,  usually becomes defensive as you're feeling attacked - this is totally natural and understandable but won't help the situation. So how do you become an effective understanding … [Read more...]

If she’s nagging then she’s nagging for a reason

Men - women don't nag because they want to!  There is always a reason they're nagging - BUT - the reason won't necessarily have anything to do with what they're actually saying. Confusing isn't it.  She may nag about you working too hard and the long hours you're away.  She may nag about you not taking an interest in the children; not tidying up; not taking her out; devoting yourself to your hobbies when you have free time; not fixing the broken shelf..............  The list is endless. The … [Read more...]

Why are you fearful of the future?

There will be a reason why you are fearful of the future with your partner. Your future with your partner should be one of shared passion, excitement and adventure - in whatever way that means to you. If it doesn't and you actually feel rather scared that what you have now is boring or not that interesting then now is the time to find out why? No one wants to face a future that actually doesn't give them what they want. There is a distinct possibility that you've stopped being your true … [Read more...]

So where is your relationship right now?

Relationships can broadly be split into three main levels.   I  agree that you can move in and out of these levels and experience some of each level at various times.  However, over time relationships will settle at one level. To help you I want you to consider the following statements. "I have to get my own needs met" "If you let me follow my interests, I will let you follow yours" "Everyday I want to make certain that my partner is getting all the love and attention they need in the … [Read more...]