Beliefs are frequently built on feelings – this may not be knowledge

When a marriage or relationship is failing the two people involved are often not in the same place at the same time.  What do I mean by this?  Well one person may have decided they no longer love their partner, whilst the other is still feeling a strong emotional bond. For the one who is still feeling close they believe that the relationship can survive.  The one who believes the relationship is dead can now withdraw even more.  Why? Well there are many reasons.  A common one is they don't … [Read more...]

Before you head for the exit ……

Before you head for the exit and decide your relationship is dead be sure you are taking that decision from the right place. So what do I mean by that? Someone once said "A decision made from fear is always the wrong decision". Fear that: life won't change if you stay the other person will never understand you you can't fix the issues nothing will change... There are many many more. When life feels wrong the question of what to do next is probably one that occupies … [Read more...]

Couples who Succeed take Action

It is very easy for couples facing relationship issues to do nothing and adopt one of the following: take a 'fingers crossed' approach and hope that the problems will miraculously disappear keep discussing the same issues and end up with circular arguments which repeat and get you nowhere one or both of you 'bury your head in the sand' close down and create fun elsewhere  - work, hobbies, friends....... However These approaches seldom, if ever, work Couples who succeed TAKE … [Read more...]

Where is your relationship today?

How you focus on your relationship will have a massive effect on the type of relationship you have and how connected you are in your relationship.  Many couples disconnect over time and then wonder why they no longer experience the intimacy and connection they had when they first met. Let me explain in more detail by asking you to look at the following levels of where you could be today. I look to meet my needs first or I look to meet my needs without consideration of those of my … [Read more...]