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Taking responsibility is key to your future

When your marriage (or relationship) is in crisis it can feel almost impossible not to blame your partner for the feelings you have right now. This is especially true if your partner's behaviour seems irrational, out of control or overpowering. Blame is, in many ways, a method of keeping us feeling safe and validating our right to feel the way we do, but it also avoids taking responsibility for ourselves. What does blaming and avoiding responsibility give you? It gives you … [Read more...]

Will Coaching Save My Marriage?

In today's post I will address the question I am frequently asked:  "Will coaching save my marriage?" By the way this applies to any long-term relationship - not just those who are married. Rather than answer with a straight yes or no I will discuss this in more depth. Does coaching always bring a couple back together?  Not always.   It doesn't work if the couple being coached are not willing to explore and learn new behaviours. It won't work if the relationship is not supposed to … [Read more...]

The importance on NOT winning

In today's post I will look at the importance of not winning.  So what do I mean by that? So often in times of conflict in a relationship one partner makes winning their goal.  This objective can be so strong that the other ends up capitulating just to get some peace!  By the way this applies to both men and women. Over time this will have a very detrimental effect on the relationship. For the winner The "winner" can become: arrogant cold towards their partner a bully … [Read more...]

Your behaviours could be ruining your relationship

We all have behaviours which we have created and developed over the years by the experiences life has given us.  These probably started in childhood and added to over the years to where we are today. These behaviours will have been designed, without us really knowing, to, in some cases, protect us from issues or pain.  Others will have been created to give us what we believe we need or want. The problem is that some of these habits and beliefs is they may not be serving us in the best … [Read more...]

Divorce is more painful than most people realise – find out how to avoid it

January is notorious for people seeking divorce. The arrival of a new year can concentrate the mind on the future. If your relationship is suffering then it may be that all you can see in front of you is pain. Pain that you won't be understood - ever That you're not important to your partner You are not loved in the way you need More endless arguments that go nowhere A future looks bleak - at best Couples in relationship crisis do not have time on their side. Action is … [Read more...]