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Things ain’t what they used to be…

When you look back at the start of your relationship you will probably remember how wonderful you felt and how amazing your partner was.  Nothing could possibly go wrong.  And yet maybe for some of you reading this post the statement that comes to mind is Things ain't what they used to be Where did it all go wrong.  Why do one or both of you now feel so differently.  Some people will tell you that feelings change with time and you cannot expect to feel the same as you did then.  Inferring that … [Read more...]

What do you value in your life?

Today I want you to think about what you value in life.  By value I want you to think about emotional needs. You see there's a massive difference between a person who, say,  values Security as their number one value and a person who values Adventure as their number one value. For example, a person - whose number one value is Security - sits down in a conference hall with several hundred other people next to someone whose number one value is Adventure.  Which one will know where every exit … [Read more...]

Are you the you, you want to be?

More to the point if you were your partner would you want to live with you? So many couples who come to my sessions are living a life which is not going to give them a successful relationship.  Many blame each other for a myriad of behaviours and problems that have - in their words - destroyed the connection they once had. Now they feel that the relationship has probably died and the only option is to move on and start again.  But they're not certain if that solution is the right … [Read more...]

Do you love you?

By asking you the question "do you love you?" Some of you will now be visualising the woman or man who is completely self-absorbed and pleased with themselves and doesn't give any thought to others around them.  This is not what I mean by loving yourself. Some people find it easy to love themselves and some don't.  What is essential is you must love you before you can love anyone else.  To love the person you are, the way you are, the values you have together with the idiosyncrasies you have … [Read more...]

Does your belief in how life should be equal how life actually is?

We all have beliefs on how each part of our life should be.  Career, family, lifestyle, fitness, how we look, relationship, finances........... Most of us will have created these beliefs or blueprints as we grew up. We created a vision, a map of the world, of how we wanted and desired our world to be in various areas. We then worked and strived to achieve the life according to the blueprint we had set in our mind. But life doesn't always deliver does it!  Something can happen in an area … [Read more...]