Is the Sexual Connection in your Relationship Right For You Both?

Many couples I see in my sessions have lost sexual connection.  Some tell me they have had no sexual connection or intimacy for years.

They may have convinced themselves that sex and passion dies over time and so they shouldn’t expect it to last.  If that works for both of you then that’s fine.  There is no right or wrong unless one of you is feeling unloved or isolated.  When one of you is yearning for more sex then it is important to find ways to reconnect you both so both your needs and desires are met.

For couples in crisis an indicator is do you still have a sexual connection? Do you still have intimacy? Is that connection passionate or does one of you feel you’re providing a service for the other.  Something that is required you do rather than you want to do.

I am not saying that this is the only indicator of a troubled relationship. I have seen couples in my sessions who have a great sexual connection, which meets both their needs, but they are still destroying each other at other times.

However for today’s post I am focusing on sexual connection and how it can and does affect a relationship.

Without it your relationship can feel as though you’ve ended up as best friends or house-mates rather than the passionate connection you had when you first met.

In most cases lack of sexual connection can often mean that one or both in the relationship are withholding from the other. By withholding I mean emotionally. This can be for many reasons.  If a woman feels she has to provide sex on a regular basis but doesn’t feel emotionally understood and protected by her man then sex can swiftly become something she does but doesn’t feel she is emotionally involved with.

A man can believe that by demanding and getting sex he is connecting with his wife and so if she responds then everything must be OK.  Wrong!

Understanding how to meet each other’s emotional needs is vital to maintain passion and intimacy.

How to re-ignite your sexual connection

To turn sex from an activity to a real deep connection requires more than the act itself.  It requires you both to understand each other at a deep level.  A level where you feel understood and connected.