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Relationship success requires action

Today I want you to think about you.  You see for you to feel your relationship is a success, one way to help is to think in terms of relationship success.

This may seem obvious but too many couples do the opposite.  They think in terms of relationship failure.  Their focus revolves around what is failing rather than what is succeeding.

Relationship success requires action

It requires you to take positive action to avoid the trap of stacking resentments.  So what do I mean by stacking resentments?

It’s those times that your internal dialogue – that voice in your head – says things like

  • “She always gets angry”
  • “He never hears what I’m saying”
  • “She is always criticising me”
  • Every time I say something difficult he gets angry”

By-the-way the list is a long one!

You will see that the important words above have been put in italics.  This is vital for you to notice.

These words are very global.  You are telling your mind that there is no route out as any action by you won’t change anything.  Without meaning to you’ve also asked yourself to collect incidents to back up your global view.   Your mind is now on a mission to collect examples of failure. Your focus will now be on those times when your criteria are met.  The problem here is you could easily miss and ignore the moments when the opposite happens.

You have begun to focus on relationship failure.

I am not saying that there haven’t been times when your partner has been angry, hasn’t listened, has been critical etc, etc.  BUT there were also times when the reverse was true.

One of the steps: Change your internal dialogue

One step to working towards relationship success is to change your internal language and dialogue with yourself.  Become alert to those global words and how you use them.  If you find you are using global descriptions for negative moments then mentally give yourself a shake and change the word to, say: Occasionally, sometimes, once in a while……..

This will help you to open up to changing your perspective.

Of course, there is a great deal more to success than this but if you have been doing this in the past then using this tool will open up your mind to possibilities that were not there before.

If your relationship is suffering then take action now before it’s too late.  Learn the tools to give your relationship a new beginning.