How do you keep a relationship passionate?

Today’s post applies to those couples who are struggling to keep their relationship passionate and connected at a deep level.

I see so many couples in my sessions where one or both of them have retreated into themselves.  They have created a method of ‘coping’ with life and their relationship.  It’s not particularly great but it can feel OK!  Even safe!

For those for whom the situation is worse than this, some will have changed their entire personality to deal with the day-to-day behaviours and interpretations of their relationship life.  When questioned they will even admit that when they reach the front door in the evening they can actually feel themselves change.  The dread of what is going to greet them when they let themselves in puts them into a place they don’t like.  They focus on all the negative aspects of their home life, grit their teeth and in they walk fully focused on a negative expectation of the time ahead until they can rush off to work again, or go out with friends and ‘be themselves’ again.

Based on this information it is easy for them to conclude that it must be the relationship which is wrong.

My question to you is “How do you know?”

If you’ve created a ‘version’ of yourself which is not you and you are then blaming the relationship then you are doing so from a place which is inauthentic.  You are viewing your relationship from a distorted place.

How to re-engage and have a passionate relationship

To get the life and relationship you desire you have to be fearless. Fearless in your goal to be close.

Going over the past will only unearth the feelings and emotions you experienced in the past – something you can do nothing about.

Your goal has to be to understand your partner and your commitment has to be total.

This may sound impossible.  I have good news for you – it isn’t!

The problem is doing this on your own is difficult.  It is easy to lose heart as your tentative steps are misunderstood, ignored or worse treated with contempt and then the only option left seems to be to give up.

I see so many couples who have told me they’ve tried everything to sort out their issues.  I empathise – I am sure it feels like that.  But unless you have the tools to understand each other and how to respond and meet each others needs your efforts may well fail.

With the tools I teach couples in my sessions they have new skills to rekindle their relationship now and keep their relationship passionate for the future.  Something we all want!

When you have the tools and skills you will feel empowered.

You will also bring about change – for both of you.