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Protecting yourself may not be the answer

First of all let me be clear if you are in a long-term physically violent relationship – this does NOT apply to you.  If this is you then – protect yourself and get out fast.

Now that is clear what do I mean by Protecting yourself and why may it not be the answer.

When a relationship has problems it is very normal for one partner to close down emotionally to protect themselves from further hurt.  If they do not feel heard or understood a person will give up and resort to behaviours that are not normal for who they are.

Now the person doing this (and it could be both of you) is behaving in a way that is not only hurting their partner but also themselves.  The problem is

How to Stop!

With no clear path to solving the problems couples go round and round in circles using behaviours that are designed to protect each person rather than solve the real issues confronting them as a couple.  This is what I mean when I say

Protecting yourself may not be the answer

Protecting yourself by behaving in a way which is not who you are is creating a distortion of you.  Frequently couples tell me they do not like who they have become.  Creating a bad version of you can frequently be a result of protecting yourself against emotional pain.

How I help:

My task is to help couples see what they are doing to themselves and each other in an environment which is safe. 

I help couples understand why they are protecting themselves.  They learn how they can still feel safe without distorting who they are meant to be and still feel safe to become all they are supposed to be.

If you would like to discover how to do this.  Then please get in contact.  Time may not be on your side.