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Relationship Passion Killers

No one enters into a marriage or relationship with the intention of killing it.  However time and again I see couples who are destroying their relationship.   Understanding what a passion killer is is step one to creating a better relationship.

Today I am focusing on three passion killers (there are more).

Passion Killer Number One

Judging your partner

Passion Killer Number Two

Mind reading.  Deciding what they are thinking.  You can’t.  You are not in their head.

Passion Killer Number Three

Blame

These three often work in unison.  You see if you decide your partner’s behaviour is wrong then you are judging them.  If they feel judged then they will feel a failure or ‘not being enough’.  On top of this it is easy to decide what they are thinking – which I have already pointed out isn’t possible.  This allows you to judge even more as you’ve created a story for yourself.  This story is highly likely to have several negative elements in it.  But it is still a story.  You have no proof.  Just the story you believe to be true.  One which you created.

From this place it is now possible to add blame to your mental process.  You begin to blame them for not understanding you.  For behaving the way they are…..

The list is endless.

Now it is likely you have created an atmosphere which is apathetic at best and probably hostile at its worst.

This can swiftly result in defensive behaviours which rarely solve issues.

If you want to mind read then decide that whatever they say it is not designed to hurt you.  It’s there as a wake-up call.  A cry for you to pay attention.

To save your marriage you need to understand how each other works.  What you both need from each other and how you both need to meet those needs.

If this resonates with you and you want to learn how to do this then please get in contact.