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One of the keys to a successful relationship

One of the keys to a successful relationship is to start with yourself.

If you don’t feel successful, or happy, being you then it’s going to be hard to have a successful relationship with your partner.

If you have created a version of yourself which you don’t particularly like then the chances are greatly increased that your partner will find it difficult to make you happy and feel connected with you.

Start with you

So what do I mean by this.  Well so often a person can decide to become what he or she believes other people would like them to be.  By the way this includes what you think your partner wants you to be.  This means you are now attempting to meet their requirements for how their world works rather than your own.  Now you feel unheard and not understood.  You will now start to stack resentments as these feeling take hold.  It is hard to feel love for someone at the same time as feeling resentful.

The connection you had in the beginning is now disappearing fast because the more you try to be what you believe your partner wants, the less you feel you are being you.

You start to  see yourself as being in a win-lose relationship rather than a win-win.  No relationship can be truly connected and passionate if one partner feels they are not getting from it what they need.

Compromise doesn’t sound great

So often I am told by couples who come to see me that they know they have to learn to compromise.

Really!

Compromise means one or both of you has to give up something.  Doesn’t feel that great does it.  So easy from this position to create feelings of resentment.

Collaboration is a better goal!

If you could learn how to become collaborators in your relationship how would that feel.  If you knew you could create new opportunities for yourselves how would the future look.  What would it feel like to be an important member of your relationship team.  One that the team could not survive without.    An unbreakable team of two where both of you bring your strengths to that team.

However no team can be successful if the members of the team don’t feel safe or know how to feel successful as themselves.

The key is to learn about you first.  What your needs are.  What your aspirations are.  What behaviours you may have created in the past which, maybe, are no longer relevant that you can now leave behind, so you can give yourself the freedom to be you.

Learn now before it’s too late

Has this struck a chord with you? Then take action now.  Find out how to grab one of the keys to having a successful relationship.  Please get in contact.