Men – do you understand your woman?

Men and women communicate differently.  So my question today is to the men reading this post is “Do you understand your woman?”

The response to this will be varied!  Of course it will be!

Some will be rolling their eyes and saying “If only”.  Some will believe they do but if they are reading this then the chances are all is not well in their relationship.

I urge both men and women to read this post.  It’s very important

Men want to be able to please their woman and feel successful with her.  It they don’t they can feel a failure and the future can seem hopeless.

For some men they will distort who they really are in their efforts to please.  However this can result in the more he does this the less happy she is!  Now he’s confused.  He believes he is meeting her needs by responding to her requests only to find she is angrier than ever.  Baffling isn’t it!

What a woman needs is to know her man is there for her emotionally.  It is nothing to do with loading the dishwasher, vacuuming the carpets or picking up the children’s toys……..etc……..!

A man in full ‘please mode’ might be doing many of these things only to find she is still unhappy.  It’s got nothing to do with household chores.  If she knows she can boss him around then her respect for him will wither.  She doesn’t want a servant she wants a strong man to be there for her to give her security and protection in the way she needs it.  Women don’t want to become his mother or his boss.  She definitely doesn’t want to see him as a child.

What does a woman need to know?

She needs to know she is the more important to him than his job, their children, the dog, his hobbies, the rest of his family or friends.

Men – do not assume because you told her once that’s enough.  It isn’t.  Women need to know that you will give them your undivided, genuine, heartfelt love and attention – all the time!  She wants to feel your love AND YOUR STRENGTH come-what may.  This doesn’t mean you must pursue her around the house telling her!  She needs to feel heard and understood so she can connect with her femininity.

For many women it also doesn’t mean you need to shower her with presents.  She needs her needs to be met in the way she needs.  Not in the way you think she needs, or in the way your needs need to be met.

If a woman doesn’t feel her man is caring for her she will care for herself.  She doesn’t have any other option.  Now she discovers that by caring for herself she can feel safe without him.  This can bring out various different behaviours, based on her character and how she meets her needs.  A woman can become very angry or shut down emotionally.  Or a mixture of all of these.

What are the women picking up from this post?

For women it is important to understand that your man may be making efforts you are not appreciating.  As I said at the start of this post it is important for your man to feel successful with you.  If you continually berate him or qualify any of his successes you have demeaned him and emasculated him.  This will not lead to the emotional connection you both desire.  He is not going to get it right all the time (he’s not Superman – I hope). You won’t either.

Learn how to become who you both need to be.  From there you learn what to give to each other to become a strong team together.  Giving is key here.  In this place there is no room for judgement or blame – both sure fire killers in a relationship.

I have written about this before and I urge you to understand what this means.  Understanding how to approach issues and each other in new and different ways can be difficult on your own as you will be using your current filters and behaviours. The same ones you used to create your problems in the first place.

I work with many couples who learn what is possible by following the simple steps I give them.

If your relationship is in trouble don’t allow yourselves to join the statistics of failures.  Join the ones of success.