Google+

Love Dies as Self-Protection Rises

When someone protects themselves in their relationship they are unable fully to experience feelings of love and connection with their partner.

The more they protect themselves the less love they will feel.

Love Dies as Self-Protection Rises

Couples who come to my sessions learn what they are doing to themselves and what they need to experience to allow them to connect again. To allow their own particular protection barrier down.

With the knowledge they gain they learn how to meet each others needs and to understand their part in the relationship.

Men and women communicate differently. This can easily lead to misunderstandings.  Misunderstandings can create resentments and resentments lead to protection.

Now the love you felt for each other seems out of reach and you even begin to wonder if you ever loved them.

Self-protection can make you cross

I use the word cross rather than angry though one leads to the other.  Feeling misunderstood and your actions and desires misinterpreted is a horrible place to be.  From here you can so easily start behaving in ways that deep down you know are not you being you. It is natural to blame the relationship.

However clients who work with me frequently find it is not the relationship itself but the fact that one of you is male and the other female and you are both missing each others attempts to solve the issues as you don’t understand your different communication styles and methods of solving problems.

The much quoted statement “The truth will set you free” is a useful place to start.  You see you may not be feeding yourself the real truth about your relationship.  You don’t know what is going on in your partner’s head.  You’re not in it. If you are unhappy they are likely to be unhappy as well.  If this is the case they will be in self-protection too.  Now there are two people in a relationship where neither is able to step out of self-protection and into a place where curiosity and a willingness to understand seems too scary to contemplate. There is also a good chance that each of you is fairly sure you’re right.  Now you have no place to go within your relationship.

Discover how to get to a better place

This is the route to happiness.  I am not in the business of keeping couples together.  Not all relationships are meant to be.  However a high percentage of couples who attend my sessions discover what they have been missing in the past and now have a new deep connection.

If you would like to learn more then now would be a good time to start.