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Curiosity is king

When couples come to my sessions one of the things I look for is how curious they are to find the real truth behind the problems they have.

You see it is so easy to assume that your relationship ‘is the way it is’ without discovering the reasons behind the problems.  So many arguments and issues are symptoms!

What do I mean by that.

Arguments can be triggered by one or both of you not feeling safe and secure in your relationship.  If you are not feeling safe you will move towards protecting yourself from harm and hurt.  This moves you away from the possible solutions.  Your focus is now on saving yourself rather than helping your partner and your relationship.

Curiosity is king

By discovering what you are doing and why you learn – with the tools I give you – how to solve issues from a position which feels safe.  However unless you are curios to learn then it can be harder to take on board these new understandings.

Curiosity opens your mind to new opportunities.  New choices and new responses.  With this comes new results.

Even if you are certain it’s over become curious before you quit!

Divorce is expensive.  Not only financially but emotionally as well.   So it is worth some investment in yourself before you go this route.  You could well find that what you believed to be true wasn’t true at all.

My job is not to save your relationship.  My job is to help you find the truth.  By being curious you are already taking the first step.