Do you have the Courage to Question your belief about your Relationship?

It takes a great deal of courage to question your belief when you are in a relationship or marriage that is not working.  Your belief that the relationship is over and not able to be saved can drive you to leave.  But if you leave without questioning this belief then how can you know if you are right?

Time and again I hear from a partner that they have “Done everything” to save their marriage. My answer to this is Yes no doubt you believe you have but you have done everything except the thing that worked.  You can only do what you know how to do!  My job is to introduce you to new ways of doing things.

Take the courage to do something new and you will get a new result

This requires you to take courage.  Yes I accept it takes courage to turn up to that first session.  It also takes courage to stay the distance.  Much as I would love to be able to wave a magic wand and solve your issues in one session it usually takes more.  It takes more because you, my client, have to learn and also practice.  It also takes courage to let go of a limiting belief and replace it with one that gives you more choices and opportunities.  Letting go can be challenging. Especially if you have already created an exit plan.

It’s taking that step into believing you can change the situation.  Believe me you can.

Don’t live by your past limits

If you live by your past limiting beliefs you will remain stuck believing that whatever you do nothing will change. This means that even if you do decide to do things differently your focus, your inner belief, will still be telling you that it won’t work. Guess what if you believe it won’t work the chances of it working are reduced!  Sometimes you partner won’t be responding the way you believe they should.  But they too could be stuck with their own limiting belief.

We don’t all get the light-bulb moment.  Some do, but some don’t.  For some there is the light-bulb moment and they can change in a heartbeat.  For others it takes time and the courage to stay the distance.

I don’t ask my clients to commit to a specific number of sessions.  What I do ask is they commit to the process.  By committing to the process and sticking with it they will get the truth.  Occasionally a session might feel emotionally difficult.  This is usually when the limiting belief is the more comfortable one to hold on to.  The fear that something we have created as a belief might not actually be true can feel daunting.  But the light may be the other side.  We’ve just failed to see it.

It is true that not all couples should be together.  However so many split up when they really didn’t need to.  They leave a relationship which had all the makings of success, happiness and passion.  All because limiting beliefs and ways of behaviour were easier to hold on to.

It takes courage to find out

But it is a courage that is worth the journey and the rewards it offers.  By taking courage in both hands you give yourself and your relationship the chance to flourish.  Or as one of my clients said the other day “To have a new and closer relationship all over again with the same partner”