Google+

Couples who Succeed take Action

It is very easy for couples facing relationship issues to do nothing and adopt one of the following:

  • take a ‘fingers crossed’ approach and hope that the problems will miraculously disappear
  • keep discussing the same issues and end up with circular arguments which repeat and get you nowhere
  • one or both of you ‘bury your head in the sand’
  • close down and create fun elsewhere  – work, hobbies, friends…….

However

These approaches seldom, if ever, work

Couples who succeed TAKE ACTION

So what do I mean by succeed.  To achieve success and change the dynamic from one of failure to one where both of you succeed takes courage.  Courage to face the issues and learn.

You both have to take courage to learn to change what you are doing:  your behaviours, your responses and your reactions to your unique challenges.

I will give you a couple of  examples.

  • Someone who has grown up in a household where the only way they felt noticed was to behave badly may have turned this into a behaviour pattern which triggers when they feel left out  – or they think they should be getting more attention.
  • Someone else who has learnt to argue their point ‘to death’ to enable them to feel successful can carry this behaviour to such an extreme that their spouse will avoid discussion at all costs to avoid feeling a failure or unheard.

Individuals create behaviours to keep them feeling safe.  The problem is that those around them can end up feeling pushed away or belittled.

Most of us have a pattern of behaviour which will trigger in certain situations but which may not be serving us in the best possible way.

To succeed you have to become responsible

To succeed in changing you need to replace it with a behaviour which works better!  One which gives you both freedom to be who you are designed to be rather than one which is restrictive or hurtful.

So to revert to the title of this post.

Couples who Succeed Take Action

Your window of opportunity to achieve success may be fairly short.  I see some couples for whom it is too late and are unable to commit to their future together.

Don’t let that be you.  Your future depends on you taking action and becoming responsible right now.