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Couples Struggle to keep the Passion Alive

So many couples struggle to keep the passion alive and have no clue how to solve their issues.

They are unaware that their behaviours are making matters worse rather than better so continue down a path of ‘destruction’.  The effect is bad for themselves as individuals and their relationship.

Couples who come to my sessions have lost touch on how to be of value to their partner.  They have forgotten what they did when they first met and now, in many cases, are hell-bent on airing hurts and grievances.  This won’t make their partner feel more attracted to them.  In fact it will push them away.  They often believe by saying at the end of a tirade of hurt that they still love them will make it OK!  Wrong.

It is vital to stop living stories from the past and look to the future and how you, personally, can approach issues in new ways. You can’t change the past and reliving a past hurt or frustration will only rekindle the emotions you felt at the time and cement them as a resentment.  To grow you need to step out of your comfort zone.

It is vital to make your partner a priority. To make them feel important, special and understood.  OK I know you are saying ‘I do that. But what about me?’  “I have needs too and they aren’t being met. They need to change too”.

If one partner has shut down emotionally because, may be, they have had enough of the pressure, anger, demands (the list is a long one), then making demands on them is not going to improve the situation.  You have to learn to do things differently.

By taking responsibility wholeheartedly for your behaviours you can learn from a place of curiosity how to change and become of value to your partner.  By doing so you will get new reactions from your partner and they will then feel safe to open up and change too.

Sometimes it is necessary for one partner to take the lead so they other feels safe to follow.

Be that person now and take those steps with no caveats and no demands.

If you would like to learn more about how to create a closer connection in your relationship and how to grow and learn from life’s ups and downs then please get in contact.

Let go of the struggle and become committed to creating a passionate connection in your relationship.