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Connect with your True Identity

I see many couples and individuals in my sessions who have lost connection with their true identity.  Many say to me they've become someone they don't like and have lost touch with the person they were.  This feeling of lost identity shows up in feeling stuck, lost, scared and, very frequently, resorting to behaviours that do nothing to help them or their partner. My job in these situations is to help my client Connect with their True Identity. He or she then feels safe.  Safe to be who they … [Read more...]

Is your Past Affecting Your Now?

Today I want to talk to you about your past and ask you the important question "Is your Past affecting your Now?". Many couples I see are struggling to be connected at a deeper level because one of them is attempting to control the environment to such an extent that the other feels stifled and unable to be themselves.  The partner who is 'controlling' is living in fear that unless they control as much of their environment as they can they will feel unsafe, insecure and, in some cases, very … [Read more...]

Patterns of Behaviour

We all create Patterns of Behaviour which are usually designed to 'keep us safe'. Let me give you an example. If you're a "morning" person you probably wake talkative and chatty and ready to grasp the day.  By evening you may want time on your own to unwind, mull over the day, have some quiet time and time to re-charge your batteries before facing the evening.  You may find you prefer to flop in front of the TV and be at peace. Now you partner may be an "evening" person.  Their day … [Read more...]

What do you value in your life?

Today I want you to think about what you value in life.  By value I want you to think about emotional needs. You see there's a massive difference between a person who, say,  values Security as their number one value and a person who values Adventure as their number one value. For example, a person - whose number one value is Security - sits down in a conference hall with several hundred other people next to someone whose number one value is Adventure.  Which one will know where every exit … [Read more...]

How do you talk to yourself?

Today I want you to think about how you talk to yourself. So often we can talk to ourselves much more harshly than we would speak to any friend, acquaintance, colleague or partner.  We can be over critical of our behaviour, our lack of focus, our ability to procrastinate......... This can be OK and, in moderation, a good thing, especially if this is your method of kick-starting yourself.  But are you being kind to yourself too?   So often the way we speak to ourselves can create a limiting … [Read more...]