Are you playing roulette with your relationship?

Couples in relationship crisis often adopt a fingers-crossed approach to their issues.  This is playing roulette with their relationship as they are not taking any new action to resolve the issues and hoping the wheel of fortune will fall in place and the problems will miraculously vanish. So my question to you today is Are you playing roulette with your relationship? and if so Do you really believe that your issues will be resolved by doing what you have done in the past? You see … [Read more...]

Some problems can be fixed faster than you think

One of the issues couples in crisis have is they are unaware of real severity of their problems or what is causing them. Some problems are deeper than you think and some problems can be fixed faster than you think. I saw a couple recently who came to see me believing that their marriage was over but they wanted clarification that going their separate ways was the right thing for them to do. It became clear to me that although they had an amazing respect for each other they were … [Read more...]

Relationship Tip: Praise not Appraise

For today's post I want you to consider the following Relationship Tip Do you know how to Praise rather than Appraise? Appraise I am certain we can all connect with a time when we have had to endure the annual Work Appraisal.   Never mind how well we have done, somehow those responsible for us manage to include something in the past year that, in their eyes, we could have done better.  So regardless of all the other good stuff, we leave the appraisal interview with the information that we … [Read more...]

Divorce rates are rising. Why?

Statistics show that couples are divorcing in record numbers. Many factors are causing this, amongst them are: Longer life expectancy Divorce is no longer a stigma The 'throw-away' culture means people believe they should no longer have to solve issues.  If it's 'broken' then ditch it and start afresh However the actual losses should never be underestimated in the rush to create a 'new life' many will lose more than they ever expected Companionship Finances - greater … [Read more...]

The Desire to understand your partner is key

Today I want to ask you a key question: Do you have the desire to understand your partner?  Furthermore I now want you to ask yourself Do you really understand your partner and know how they tick and want to be understood? I see so many couples in my sessions who claim they truly understand their partner.  They tell me they know their faults and they know how to handle them, only to discover that they didn't understand them at all.  And surprisingly they discover that their partner doesn't, … [Read more...]